LIVE: The Legend of Finn McCoul

🌲 Story Time! 🌲

Recorded in Sumter, South Carolina at a St. Patrick's Day show in 2017, here is our live storytelling rendition of the story of Finn McCoul and his famous rival.

Follow along with the story below:

The Legend of Finn McCoul (by the Gothard Sisters, based on the traditional tale)

Once upon a time, in the very far north of Ireland, there lived a giant.
The giant's name was Finn McCoul, and he was very cool.
He was the tallest, the strongest, and the mightiest of all the giants in Ireland.

One day, Finn McCoul decided that he was going to build a bridge, made of stone,
that would take him all the way across the big blue sea from Ireland to Scotland.
But building the bridge made him very tired so he decided to go back to Ireland and take a nap.

After his nap, Finn was enjoying a lovely cup of tea with his wife, Oona, when all of a sudden they heard a rumbling, trembling, booming noise coming from the Scottish side of the new bridge. 

It was Benandonner. Greatest and most terrible of all the Scottish giants, Benandonner was twice as tall as Finn McCoul - and that was when he was sitting down.
Seeing Finn's new bridge, Benandonner decided that this was the perfect opportunity to cross into Ireland and take care of that puny little Irish giant - Finn McCoul.

Finn's wife, Oona, said:
"Oh Finn. Here comes that giant, Benandonner, to fight with you. Now, Benandonner is stronger than you are. But he's not very smart. So here's what we'll do. Go and jump into the baby's cradle, put the baby's little hat on your head, pull the baby blanket all the way up to your chin, and then leave everything else to me."

Finn obeyed, immediately. He jumped into the baby's cradle, and put the baby's frilly little bonnet onto his big head, and he pulled the baby's blanket all the way up to his big chin.

Then, Oona ran into the kitchen and began to mix up a new batch of bread. She picked up a lump of butter and rolled it around in some black boot-polish, forming a lumpy grey ball. This she placed on a pile of rocks by the hearth and sat down to wait. 

Benandonner approached the house. He knocked three times. Oona opened the door.

Oona: "Well hello and good day and what can I do for you?"

Benandonner: "I'm Benandonner - the greatest and most terrible of all the Scottish giants. And I have come to fight Finn McCoul."

Oona: "Yes, of course you have. But I'm afraid that Finn isn't home right now. You can come in and wait for him. I have some fresh bread, right out of the oven."

Benandonner: "I'll wait. I like fresh bread."

He followed her into the kitchen and sat down at the kitchen table. Oona ran into the kitchen and pulled out two fresh loaves of bread from the oven. One of them had an iron frying pan baked in the center of it. This one she gave to Benandonner. 

Oona: "Here's a lovely loaf of Finn's favorite bread for you to eat." 

He took it from her and bit into it. Instantly, his teeth hit the frying pan inside and cracked. 

Benandonner: "Ouch!" 

Oona: "Oh dear. Is Finn's favorite bread a little bit too hard for you to eat, Benandonner?"

Benandonner: "A little bit too hard?! My teeth are all broken!"

Oona: "How strange. Because you see, even Finn's little tiny baby loves to eat that bread. Watch this."

And she brought the other regular soft loaf over to Finn, who was still lying in the cradle. He took it from her and gobbled it all up. Benandonner was shocked. Why, if Finn McCoul's little baby could even eat Oona's rock-hard bread without breaking all his teeth ... what was going on? 

Benandonner: "So tell me ... how does Finn McCoul become so strong?"

Oona: "Well you see, Finn likes to build up his strength by squeezing water out of rocks."

Benandonner: "Squeezing water out of rocks."

Oona: "Oh yes. Don't you do that in Scotland?"

Benandonner: "No."

Oona: "Well maybe if you want to become stronger you should try it. You might want to start with one of the practice rocks, they're a little easier."

He picked one of the rocks and squeezed. Try as he might, he couldn't get a single drop of water out of it. 

Oona: "How strange. You see even Finn's little tiny baby can easily squeeze water from the practice rocks. Watch this."

And she crossed over to the pile of rocks by the hearth and picked up the lumpy grey ball and brought it over to Finn, who was lying in the cradle.

Oona: "Why don't you squeeze this rock for me now, dear."

He took the lump of butter in his hand and squeezed. Instantly, it began to drip to the floor. Benandonner was shocked.

Benandonner: "Ach. If this the strength of the little baby, how strong must the father be? I'm going back to Scotland!"

And with that, he took off back across the bridge, tearing it apart as he went so that Finn McCoul would never follow him home to Scotland. And to this day you can still see what is left of that bridge - the Giant's Causeway in County Ulster, Northern Ireland. 

And as for Finn and his wife Oona, they lived happily ever after.